THE RIP (2026)
Why did I hate this movie? Everyone involved is working hard to make it look and sound good, which it does, if it’s a tad dark and loud. I’ll always tune in for Matt Damon, and he’s good, and serious and working hard as usual here. The story, based on real events, is a good one and presents interesting questions and stakes, involving a tight gaggle of Miami police officers who discover millions in cash at a stash house, and with it, inklings of greed, temptation, paranoia and everyone questioning who can be trusted. Basically, it’s A Simple Plan (1998) meets Cop Land (1997). Unfortunately unlike those films, it’s not very good. Straight away the dialogue stands out as repetitive with a Fast & The Furious (2001-) feel; all of the characters are macho, foul-mouthed wise-asses who are either bravado-ing around, fighting or taking the piss out of each other as they find themselves in this treacherous situation. Money corrupts. It’s also drug money, so there’s that additional shadow of danger. No one is particularly stupid. The decisions make sense and the plot is driven by realistic choices. It’s not aiming to be No Country for Old Men (2007) and that would’ve been okay, even welcome when all one wants on occasion is action and entertainment. But it wants to you think it’s so much more complicated than it is. The film assumes it’s narrative and ideas are hard to follow, and so it’s embarrassingly dumbed down, over explained and, frankly, quite boring. Damon and Ben Affleck are smart guys (though Affleck is the thirstier of the two for this signifier), so why would they assume its audience is any less so? Now it would be one thing if they enthusiastically positioned the movie to be a fun and basic cops and robbers story, with over-the-top characters and double-crossings and black and white morals, but the film’s disposition screams otherwise. Instead it’s posing as heady and clever and nothing is as it seems. Yet, everyone you meet is exactly who you assume they are with zero expectations subverted. Everything they want you to see and hear, you see and hear, repeatedly, again and again. The misdirections are obvious and lame to the point that I assumed (wrongly) that they must be strategically misleading us towards a big twist. They don’t. For me, and everyone out there who’s ever suffered a mansplaining (or the lesser talked about womansplaining), The Rip is the movie equivalent of this cringy pejorative. It is a basic cops and robbers story, while it also pats its viewers on the head and smugly explains everything we missed, ‘cuz we’re so easily distracted and dumb.
WATCH OR NOT: NOT
Additional musings: Affleck and Damon have let it be known that their production company Artists Equity has implemented a profit-sharing model, meaning their films’ financial successes will be shared with the entire cast and crew of each project. This is admirable and perhaps is the biggest hint as to why the movie is dumbed down to the extent that it is. Netflix’s most popular movies include: Red Notice (2021), The Gray Man (2022) and Back In Action (2025). You see where I’m going here? I think the boys made an intentionally simple action thriller for mostly altruistic purposes. They wanted a hit and to make money for all and so they went after a very specific movie watcher. While on Joe Rogan’s podcast Damon even quoted the studio, saying; “And it wouldn’t be terrible if you reiterated the plot three or four times in the dialogue because people are on their phones while they’re watching“. To me, this goes against the point of the film and what is says about greed. But what does it matter, when no one’s really paying attention anyway.
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