Category: Don’t Watch
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The Rip Review: Good Will Stunting
THE RIP (2026) Why did I hate this movie? Everyone involved is working hard to make it look and sound good, which it does, if it’s a tad dark and loud. I’ll always tune in for Matt Damon, and he’s good, and serious and working hard as usual here. The story, based on real events,…
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The Threesome Review: Oh so sexy, until it’s not
The Threesome (2025) Oh the threesome. Who hasn’t thought this could be among the highlights of one’s youthful (or not so youthful) sexual misadventures. And what fun it is to watch a trio of consenting adults dip their toes into orgy waters. And the title deed was not unsatisfying. The participants, Olivia, Connor and Jenny…
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Top Five Worst Films of 2025
These lists are bullshit. Movies, film, art, blockbusters…they are designed to entertain us in exchange for money. It’s a system and that’s okay, as it’s what we got and it works for now. The good ones make us feel; feel excited, annoyed, joy, and away from our lives for a short while as we experience…
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Being Eddie review: What the hell Eddie?
BEING EDDIE (2025) First off, let the record show that I love(d) Eddie Murphy. He was the best part of the second coming of Saturday Night Live and lucky for us he transitioned into the biggest movie star in the world with 48 Hours (1982), Trading Places (1983), Beverly Hills Cop (1984), The Golden Child…
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The Smashing Machine review: The Boring Machine
THE SMASHING MACHINE (2025) I’ll watch all kinds of movies. Good, bad, so bad they’re good, silly, heart-warming, heart-breaking, and my utmost favourite and the best kind in my opinion, fun. The Smashing Machine (2025) doesn’t fall into any of these categories, in fact it’s the worst kind, and I’ll get to that. Now this…
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Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning Review: So very tired
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – THE FINAL RECKONING (2025) Is it just me, or does anyone else find the liking and appreciating of actor/producer Tom Cruise to be a divisive topic? I mean, it’s not like he comes up all the time or anything, but when he does, on occasion, arise in conversation, the reaction is almost…
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Superman Review: Not My Superman
SUPERMAN (2025) What the hell was that? I grew up reading and watching Superman, and never, not post-read nor while the credits were rolling, was I left feeling disgraced instead of inspired. I had a similar feeling after watching the Barbie (2024) movie. It too abandoned all the feel good stuff associated with its intellectual…
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The Old Guard 2 Review: Too many f**k-ing questions
THE OLD GUARD 2 (2025) I have some questions for the makers of The Old Guard 2. Number one: How the f**k did Discord find Quynh? Seriously, that could have been interesting. Perhaps she had been looking all this time, hadn’t given up like some people (Andy I’m looking at you) and finally the right…
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The Surfer Review: All work and no surf makes Nick a dull boy
THE SURFER (2025) I have always felt that Nicolas Cage is more of a force of nature than a human. A tornado of a being; an energy that can be harnessed for brilliant cinematic creations or catastrophic misfires. Much like a loaded pistol, the direction depends very much on who is holding the weapon. And…
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Fear Street: Prom Queen Review – No fear and loathing the hair
FEAR STREET: PROM QUEEN (2025) Thus far, I’ve enjoyed Netflix’s Fear Street (2021-) series. The makers are having fun with the horror, throwback, wink wink, not-so-scary, slew of successive and creatively gross murders genre. And I am here for it. What’s more, Fear Street: Prom Queen is the 80s instalment, the very decade I started…
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Black Mirror – Hotel Reverie Review: Every season has its dud
BLACK MIRROR (2011-2025) – Hotel Reverie San Junipero (2016) is the fourth episode in the third season of Black Mirror. It is one of the few episodes that I can recall that doesn’t highlight the negative aspects of technology, but instead imagines the idea of a digital afterlife. It’s the story of a lesbian couple…
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Riff Raff Review: Less riffing more raff
RIFF RAFF (2025) Truth be told, I didn’t have high hopes for director Dito Montiel’s – A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006), Man Down (2015) – latest offering Riff Raff, but the cast was intriguing. I mean, Bill Murray as a shady underworld crime boss accompanied by the preternaturally creepy/depressive Pete Davidson has a…
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The Monkey Review: Opposable thumbs down
THE MONKEY (2025) Director, writer and actor Osgood Perkins – Longlegs (2024), The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015) – adapts the Stephen King short story The Monkey (1980) into a horror comedy? This should work right? Well the concept worked well enough to entice me to watch it. Unfortunately, killing off numerous undeveloped characters indiscriminately, Final Destination (2000-)…
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Heart Eyes review: My heart will go on
HEART EYES (2025) I like this movie. But I don’t like like it, if you know what I mean. I like that it’s a romantic-comedy-horror. A great idea that pleases both the blood thirsty romantic cynics and horror hopefuls. I like how the gender roles are swapped, with a female protagonist (Olivia Holt) who is…
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Fight or Flight Review: Bullet Plane
FIGHT OR FLIGHT (2025) Fight or Flight is a straight ahead action comedy, or for those of you who (like me) indulge in these types of films whenever I can, it’s basically John Wick (2014) on a Bullet Train (2022), save for the fact that its lead Josh Hartnett brings extra charisma, all the while…
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Moana 2 Review: No-ana
MOANA 2 (2024) It’s difficult to find a movie that the whole family can enjoy together, especially when there are younger kids in the mix. The older demographic is usually left suffering through corny or unnecessarily snarky drivel. Yet, films like The Wild Robot (2024) and Flow (2024) prove that it can be done, and…
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Hypnotic Review: Zzzzzzzzzz
HYPNOTIC (2021) Look before you leap they say. And I dove in after watching only a few seconds of its trailer; Hypnotic promised to be a cheesy thriller/chiller with, most likely, a heavily telegraphed ending. No surprises to be had here and no one made me watch it. Now “Starring Kate Siegel“ is never going…
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Elevation Review: Aim Higher
ELEVATION (2024) Once again we have a sci-fi monster movie (among my favourite genres) in which there are “rules”. Think A Quiet Place (2018) and Bird Box (2018), but instead of having to stay silent and avoiding direct eye contact, Elevation’s murderous creatures can’t get you if you are above a very specific elevation. An…
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Back in Action Review: Spies not like us
BACK IN ACTION (2024) Thinking back, I didn’t watch Back in Action hoping or expecting to see perfection. What I wanted was a fun romp with our trusty Cameron Diaz and Jamie Fox to lighten up my day with some laughs and a little heart if it had the time. And the premise was promising.…
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Gladiator 2 Review: Little boy lost
GLADIATOR 2 (2024) Why? Well here we are, answering the question: Why was this film made? And why is it titled Gladiator 2? Alas, it is the official sequel to one of the most universally loved films of all time. A film that exuded so much confidence it boastfully roared at its audience: “Are you…
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Venom: The Last Dance Review: Get off of me
VENOM: THE LAST DANCE (2024) Way back, when I first heard that Tom Hardy was attached (hah) to a Venom film I was ready to be absorbed (heh). One of the greatest villains in the Spiderman Universe was coming to life (sorry Topher Grace your Venom didn’t do it for me) with a top tier…
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Top Five Overrated Horror Films
Like a lot of you out there, our plan for Halloween night, after the trick-or-treaters are safe at home and eating their hauls, is to eat whatever’s leftover and enjoy a horror movie. We threw out some ideas for this year’s watch…a classic or something new perhaps? There are so many subgenres to choose from,…
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The Substance of Demi Moore: Body Art
Though not perfect (we have thoughts, see our review), Demi Moore’s newest film The Substance is a cheeky choice for the American actress. Some might say it’s courageous and daring, being that she is literally baring it all while deconstructing the plight of an aging Hollywood starlet. It’s bullseye casting. However, we argue that this…
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Wolfs Movie Review: No one’s whistling
WOLFS (2024) This hurts. Great premise, two marquee dramatic/comedic masters settling into midlife, and me, hoping for two wolfs at the door. Sadly, Wolfs is a corny mess in need of a cleanup. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are thrown together to “fix” a very bad night for a hot shot Manhattan district attorney (Amy…
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Uglies Movie Review: No Pug Fuglies
UGLIES (2024) Being an average looking dystopian movie in this bigger, better, hotter, appearance-oriented movie sphere can be really really hard. Unfortunately for Joey King (who proves once again that she can carry a film), Uglies fails to glow up. Mostly because it excited us with current issues such as our obsession with beauty, plastic…
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The Crow Movie Review: Lil’ Crow
THE CROW (2024) To start, this is not The Crow, but rather a movie about a Manic Pixie dream couple falling in love with a little Crow mixed in (Emo Crow?) in order to entice fans of the original film. But like Eric’s haircut, the film is vying to be too many things all at…