THE CROW (2024)

To start, this is not The Crow, but rather a movie about a Manic Pixie dream couple falling in love with a little Crow mixed in (Emo Crow?) in order to entice fans of the original film. But like Eric’s haircut, the film is vying to be too many things all at once, leaving most of us a little mad and unsatisfied.

WATCH OR NOT: NOT

Additional musings:

This could work as a date movie, with the first half for lovers of doomed romances, and the second for those who want to see an immortal, shirtless Bill Skarsgård justifiably slaughter a litany of bad guys like a hapless Wolverine.