HELLBOY: THE CROOKED MAN (2024)

During the making of Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), Hellboy creator Mike Mignola and Hellboy (2004) director Guillermo del Toro had a falling out. Mike has stated that the first film was a collaboration between them. He has also said that during the creation of the sequel he was told  “This isn’t your Hellboy, it’s my Hellboy” by del Toro, thus eliminating any possibility of a full trilogy by the two. Then 2019 brought us Neil Marshall’s reboot with David Harbour reprising the role of Hellboy, but alas, it was a trainwreck. Now, just few years later, we have yet another reboot…and I’m thinking that they must have something here because why else would you rush it out so quickly, except to eliminate the taste of the last one? Unfortunately, the commitment to this new iteration (and by commitment I mean money) is not there. I was (at first) willing to overlook just how cheap Hellboy: The Crooked Man looks. Have you seen Xena: Warrior Princess (1995)? That’s the production level. But hell, money doesn’t always equal good (have you seen Megalopolis?). But sadly the CGI is obvious, Hellboy’s makeup is okay but not great, and the supporting casts’ acting skills are on par with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1993). Altogether it has the look and feel of a fan-made film. Jack Kesy gets points for being the best part (though he’s no Ron Pearlman or Harbour), yet as Hellboy he barely speaks; and not in a taciturn “has the sharpest lines” sort of way, he’s simply relegated to the background. So, sorry if you came for the promise of Hellboy action (forget about it). Yes, this is harsh, but this is one of those films that only hurts the franchise, and as a fan I suggest moviemakers take a long break before coming back to it anytime soon. And when you do, give us a Hellboy for the ages. He deserves it.

WATCH OR NOT: NOT

Additional musings: Hellboy would hate this movie.