MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (2026)

I’m gonna say it: He-Man was for boys. I mean, girls played with He-Man too, of course. But generally speaking, during the pre-woke, gender-specific era of the early 1980s, it was a boy’s toy. And like its kindred counterpart the Barbie Dream House, Castle Grey Skull is a legendary play set and holds a special place in the heart of every Gen-Xer who’s worth knowing. Neither is as iconic or rare as the Millenium Falcon, the owner of one of these was really worth knowing, but that’s a topic for another day. Moving on, the Masters of the Universe lore and toys had the male youths of its day firmly in its grip; as it was in their “Kung Fu Grip”. There were no iPhones to battle boredom and though Atari was released in 1975, most (in my suburb at least) didn’t see one until the early 80s and the Nintendo boom didn’t hit the mainstream until the mid-to-late 80s. What’s a kid to do but pick up some action figures, imagine complex storylines and spend hours setting up intricate battles? By the time the television show debuted in 1983, boys were hooked. The He-Man and Masters of the Universe (1983-85) series followed Prince Adam, protector of Eternia, with his magical sword that transformed him into He-Man to fight the evil Skeletor and his army of minions. It was a basic good dudes versus bad dudes, with Mr. Olympia-worthy physiques being a dime a dozen. This was the Van Halen‘s David Lee Roth and Conan the Barbarian (1982) era. The Walkman was released and there was a general 80’s, badass, metal sense to everything including children’s programming. Having a cartoonishly manly man named He-Man was on point and we ate it up, so much so that as a collective we are skipping right past the first Masters of the Universe (1987)…Gwildor anyone?, and are now primed for the current movie incarnation of Mattel’s flagship toy made, we hope, for, I’ll say it again…boys. And for the boys who had and continue to have impossibly high hopes for entertainment featuring their beloved IP, it’s a solid “okay”. Prince Adam is a pathetic corporate slave (so that’s different, but I assume it’s meant to speak to the boys who grew up to be corporate slaves and yearn for escapism that also mosey’s up to a more innocent time) and Nicholas Galitzine is likeable enough, though not at all reminiscent of anything resembling the He-Man or his alterEgo in my mind. It was a choice and I was ready to welcome some nostalgia and easter eggs, but also nervous it would Barbie this bitch with a whole new agenda that had nothing to do with manly men. It doesn’t, but it also does, but with self-awareness and never offensively. What was unpleasant was its inconsistent tone. Once again we have the Thor: Ragnarok (2017) style, flush with irony and self-winking, but with corny humour that often falls flat. Is it a satire or an epic adventure? For me, it wasn’t a riotous success on either front. Still, despite my dashed hopes for my long ago imagined heroic plaything come-to-life, I enjoyed it for what it it is: a bright, fast-pasted romp that continues in the spirt of that in which it was originally made and a little more. That little more being: it’s for today’s kids, girls too, as the fairer sex is heavily featured, perhaps injected a little too obviously, but the magic of an everyman transforming into a beast to fight and protect them is heavier still. Mostly, its Idris Elba’s drunk and deflated portrayl of Man of Arms and newly disgraced Jared Leto’s funny turn as Skeletor that gets the adults through. It’s good, not an incantation of the 1980s or He-Man or my childhood, but what is? It’s not a gender-flipped Roboto (Kristen Wiig), I can tell you that. But it will do.